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Baby Survival Guide

Buy this stroller.

Buy this car seat.

Buy this adapter so your car seat works with the stroller.


Formula is just as healthy for your baby as breast milk is. Period. End of story.


Only change a diaper when there’s poop or when there’s hella piss.


When changing a poopy diaper, use the diaper itself to wipe up most of the poop. 


Delegate each individual parenting task. e.g. Jack is 100% in charge of ordering diapers. Jane is 100% in charge of cleaning bottles. Type out the tasks that each parent is in charge of and put the list on the fridge.


Surprise your partner by doing their task for them every once in a while.


Whoever worries less about health stuff should be in charge of all medical visits. Only tell the hypochondriac parent information if they need to know. 


Postpartum depression is real and super common. The best way to fight it is by spending time with people rather than being alone with your baby all day. Do everything you can to forge relationships with other newborn parents while you’re preggers.


Create two sets of all kid toiletries/meds - one for home and one for travel because the worst thing is a sick kid on vacation and no tylenol.  Just pack the travel bag in your suitcase. 


Get this alarm clock when they are old enough to have a big kid bed. 


Kids have helllla feelings - acknowledge them and try to be as sincere as possible in commiserating because they really wanted the red cup and you gave them the yellow cup.  But don’t give them the red cup - just understand it was very upsetting but they can use the yellow cup or die of thirst, their choice.


Don’t allow your kids to whine.


Never go back on your word. Always follow through on your threats. 


Kids drown without making a single sound or a splash.  If kids are playing in water designate a specific adult to be responsible. Too many adults and everyone assumes someone else is watching.  


The first year with two kids is awful.  Horrible.  We have no advice except it gets better.  


Put the kid to bed in their clothes for the following day.


Your kid will be just as entertained/bored whether they have 10 toys or 100 toys.


Schedules and routines are a big deal. Try your best to stick to them. Sometimes life gets in the way and it’s fine if you have to deviate. 

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